Books are a part of who I am. Long before TikTok and Bookstagram.

Reading is cool now? There was a time when it wasn't. In fact, I used to be ashamed of being a reader—ashamed of being me: A reader. Bookworm. Bibliophile. Book lover. Buveur d’encre.

I used to be ashamed for always having a book with me or wanting to escape the room to go read. Those close to me, they know that I have always loved reading, even before #bookstagram (book community on Instagram) became a thing. It has been a part of who I am since I can remember. 

So why the shame in reading?

Well, my siblings can tell you that I’ve always been the weird/awkward kid. I preferred my own company and staying in my room all the time. It seems that as I got older and started teaching and writing, I somewhat found my voice and became more comfortable being myself. But growing up, I preferred to write in my journals with music in my ears or stereo and sticking my nose in a book any chance I could.

Books are my companions. I think part of the reason is simply because books gave me comfort. When I moved to the U.S from France (I was 10), it was quite a culture shock and I seemed to have a harder time adjusting to life in the states than my siblings did. I still do! Lol. My personality & passions just vibe better with France. So, in a way, I turned to books as escapism. And it has been that way since. I only read fiction growing up; it wasn’t until I went to grad school (2011) that I started reading more nonfiction. 

Okay, so why was I ashamed of being a reader?

It wasn’t cool. Plain and simple. I will not sugarcoat it. As a Congolese, I hardly met or knew anyone in my community (Congolese community of Dallas) who loved reading besides two of my cousins (one who re-introduced me to books when I first moved to the states!)

For example: As a PK (Preacher’s kid), I grew up in church and was always in church for something. One day, I was sitting in a church pew reading a YA novel as the choir rehearsed. I was probably about fourteen then. I remember one of the elders of the church coming up to me asking what I was reading. When I showed him, he asked: “Why? Is it for school?” He inquired, baffled.  

I told him that it wasn’t for school. Just for fun. He stared at me with a perplexed look on his face. He seemed to have a hard time processing the fact that I was reading for fun. In our household, reading was normal. My dad is a reader and my sisters also read here and there. 

At school, it was the same thing. In between classes or before classes started (sometimes during), I was reading. I wasn’t a popular kid or anything, and in fact preferred to remain invisible, but for some reason the fact that I was always reading is what got people to notice me. 

I remember some of the “popular” basketball/football players being intrigued and often interrupting (yes, interrupting) my reading time and asking what I was reading or how come I was always reading.

I guess I have a hard time processing this question:

Why am I reading? How come?

 It’s like asking me why am I breathing?  I suppose I don’t know how not to be reading! Even when I’m going through a slump and think to myself that I won’t read for a while, sooner than later my heart aches and I start to feel anxious—like something is missing. And as soon as I pick up a book, the aches and anxiety vanish. 

Perhaps for me, reading means a lot more than for others.

Books are my companions

Reading is my escape

Reading is a stress reliever

Reading calms my anxiety/stress

Reading helps me see myself in others

Reading teaches me about the world and those around me

Reading helps me travel to places I could never go to physically

I also used to be ashamed to admit how much I really read to avoid making other people feel bad. And I don’t read nearly as much as I used to before kids. But people would make me feel bad for reading and would say things such as:

“You must have time on your hands to be reading this much.”

“You’re just showing off how many books you read.”

 Well, both statements sound a bit passive aggressive. For one, anyone can make time for reading. Think about how much time you spend on social media, YouTube or watching TV? 

I also am on social media and watch TV occasionally, but I make reading a priority. Reading should be something you enjoy doing—not something you are forced to do.  And I’m one of those gifted readers who trained her brain long ago to multitask, so I can read with noise in the background and even music in my ears. Most people need complete silence to read.

 Secondly, I have always been passionate about talking about books and sharing what I’m reading with others. When I share about how many books I read, it’s not about showing off the number of books I read. It’s more about challenging myself to read more and meeting said challenge, as well as encouraging and challenging others to read more, especially my fellow Congolese. 

All this to say…..um, I’m not sure actually. I don’t have a call to action or anything, but I felt it was important I write this. I’m sure there’s a lone wolf/passionate reader who can relate. 

Just be you.

 Thanks for reading! It felt nice to blog again after so long.

Books I Read in 2020: 32 Books

📚 Books I Read this year: 32 books.

Here are all the books I read (excluding the ebooks and the ones I gave away.) I may read one more by 2021. It was a difficult year so reading was truly an escape.

My goal was to read 35 books, so I was very close!!

Below are my favorite reads this year split into genres:

Literary fiction: Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi and The Girl with the Louding Voice by @abidare_author and Purple Hibiscus by @chimamanda_adichie

Upmarket/Women’s fiction: No Time To Blink by @dina.silver

Romance: The Trouble With Hating You by @sajnipatelbooks & Dear John by @nicholassparks

Thriller/Mystery/Suspense: My Sister The Serial Killer by @oyinbraithwaite & Mr. Perfect by Linda Howard

Non fiction/Biography: The Other Wes Moore by @iamwesmoore & The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin.

For 2021, I hope to read more nonfiction and more books in French-at least five novels in the French language. I’ve lost the habit! 

I have been a lover of books since I was just a little girl. I got my love of reading from my dad. He reads a lot as well. I hope to encourage more people to read–especially Congolese, so I was overjoyed when my post made an impact in the Congolese community on Twitter! We need to kill the saying about “Black people don’t read”-especially Congolese. We do read!

Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.– Charles W. Eliot

HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR READING? WHAT ARE MY ALL-TIME FAVORITES?

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies . . . The man who never reads lives only one.

– George R.R. Martin

For those who personally know me or follow me on social media, it is no surprise that I LOVE READING. Reading has always been my #1 passion and my escape from the world. Books are my companions. Through reading, I have learned more about the world and the people in it. From the comfort of my couch/bed, I traveled the world and learned about places and cultures. Through reading, I became a better writer as well.

There is a question I get so often that I decided to dedicate a blog post to it:

How can one read more? How can one become a ‘reader’?

My answer is and always will be:

Make time for reading. Read what you like–not what you think you should be reading.

Start by reading one chapter a day. In this day and age of social media addiction, we have to sacrifice and make time for the things we want or like. For me, I sacrifice watching TV or being on social media to read. You have to make time for what you care about, even though it can be difficult. Instead of scrolling through social media to pass time when you’re bored, pick up a book. If you work a 9-5, read during lunch, or set a time right before bed. If you’re a stay-at-home/work-at-home parent, like most of us right now (lol), read when your kids are taking a nap.

How to know what you like to read?

I suggest you try and buy/borrow a few books in different genres to have a feel of what you think you like to read: fiction or nonfiction? science fiction or literary fiction? business books or self-help? religious perspectives or not? There are such wide-ranging books to choose from.

For me, I prefer to read fiction and memoirs (non-fiction). As far as fiction, I mostly enjoy books that have an international theme/appeal. It can be romance, literary fiction, or contemporary women’s fiction. I occasionally read thrillers (especially ones about marriage/family). I enjoy reading diverse stories from diverse writers. Back in my middle school and high school days, there weren’t many of those books getting published, so I read them every chance I get; authors such as Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Yaa Gyassi, Etaf Rum etc. This doesn’t mean I don’t read books by white authors because I do as well, specifically Emily Giffin, Liane Moriarty, and Dina Silver.

Diverse voices were silenced, but are on the rise today.

For nonfiction, I enjoy memoirs. I am not a fan of self-help books, but I do occasionally read books on spiritual living.

So what are my top 5 all-time favorite books?

A Time for Dancing by Davida Wills Hurwin

I read this when I was in high school. At the time, I was a dancer so I loved books that talked about the lives of dancers. A movie was even made out of this book. Such a beautiful story.

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

If you have not heard of this one, where have you been? I could relate so much to this book as an immigrant to this country. It is the kind of book that makes you think and laugh at the same time: profound + humorous conversations about the immigrant life in the diaspora (UK and U.S.)

Homegoing by Yaa Gyassi

Ahhhhhh, this book was life-changing for me. All I can say is that you will not regret reading this! We often forget what our ancestors had to go through for us to have the freedom we have today, but this book is much more than that. Seven descendants of two half-sisters tell their stories (one in Ghana and one as a slave in America). It all comes full circle at the end.

Kindred by Octavia Butler

This was actually assigned in my African-American lit class in college but ended up being one of my fav slave narratives ever. It really transports you to those times and taught me a lot about slavery in America (what they don’t teach in schools).

Hand-me-Down Heartache by TJ Butler

I read this while I was in high school. I finished it all in one night. The writer may not be the most popular writer, but this book touched my heart in so many ways at the perfect time. I was going through a rough time so it just really inspired me when I needed it the most, so it remained one of my all-time favs.

Some books leave us free and some books make us free.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

All right, folks, I hope this blog post was helpful! What do you struggle with the most when it comes to reading? Share some of your favorite books!

Until next time,

Deb

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HOW DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH READING?

Books and doors are the same thing. You open them, and you go through into another world.

~Jeanette Winterson

Today, I read. For hours. And it felt pretty darn good.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. Well, there are two occasions. One was when I was about seven or eight. I was living in Paris, France at the time. My dad had some errands to run in the city and I got to with him. I remember coming across a bookstore and begged for us to go inside. Once in the bookstore, I came across a book that I couldn’t let go of so my dad purchased it for me. I carried that book with me everywhere. I read that story over and over again. Then one day, I couldn’t find this precious book of mine. I searched everywhere, but never found it. I cried about it and pouted, but it didn’t bring the book back. I think I’m still a bit sad about losing that book until today. I just never found it again. Then I grew older and didn’t like to read as much anymore when I moved to the U.S. Because of the culture shock and language barrier, reading didn’t interest me as much anymore. That is, until freshman year of high school. I have a cousin who read everywhere. It was annoying but she always told me that I was missing out. So one day I decided to start reading “for fun” again. And I fell in love with words again. That night, there was a mouse in the house, so my siblings and I were all scared to leave our rooms. I didn’t want to turn the lights off in my room in fear that the mouse would “get me” (don’t judge me! ), so I stayed up all night and read Hand Me – Down Heartache by TJ Butler. It didn’t matter that I had school the next morning. I was lost in a new world. That day marks the moment I fell in love with reading again.

Reading is my escape from it all. I just wish I could make more time for it like I used to.

There is something about reading that takes you into another world. That feeling when you’re so lost in a book and can’t seem to stop flipping the pages. That feeling you get when you finish a book but the characters are still with you.

All morning I struggled with the sensation of stray wisps of one world seeping through the cracks of another. Do you know the feeling when you start reading a new book before the membrane of the last one has had time to close behind you? You leave the previous book with ideas and themes — characters even — caught in the fibres of your clothes, and when you open the new book, they are still with you.

~Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale

I read to unwind, relax, and escape. Hopefully, it will remain the same always.

What about you? How did you fall in love with reading?

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